The guilt of being a part-time mom

As many of you know I am a full time student. I returned to finish college Fall of 2015 and will graduate Fall of 2017. Returning to school hasn’t come without it’s sacrifices. The biggest sacrifice being that I don’t get to spend as much time with my son.

mommyatschoolwithbaby-2

While in Europe, despite how extremely difficult it was for us there, I got to be with my son every hour of every day. I got to care for him, watch him grow and teach him.

mommybabyeurope

Now that I’m home I’ve realized how different the work culture in America is in general.Work comes before family for lots of people simply because they need to work hard to survive.

In this journey to climb the socio-economic latter here, I’ve found myself feeling  guilty about my role as a mother. I attend a private christian university and I could go into detail explaining how for our current situation I need to be here but that would take forever. Bottom line is I have the opportunity to really offer my son a good future but in the process I feel like I’m missing out on the present.

My husband and I have taken as many steps as we can to ensure that our son has us around and feels our presence, but in times where I am just swamped with assignments I feel that my little man suffers most.

babyboy2

In all his innocence he just runs around playing and climbing things and we make time daily, when the weather permits, to take him outside to play. I still feel like it’s not enough. I still feel that I don’t have the time to sit and really teach him. Much of the time my husband is caring for him because I’m either in class, doing interviews for yearbook, in study groups for harder courses or working campus news. I stay busy.

I don’t really have advice for other busy moms who struggle with this, I just want them to know they aren’t alone.

I’m doing all of this while he is young so that when he is old enough to understand his surroundings he can see good things. I want him to have opportunities I did not have and access to things I didn’t. In the mean time I feel like I’m missing a lot of precious moments.

I know that in the end it will be worth it.

 

*disclaimer: please do not offer me educational alternatives like online classes.*

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