Why I don’t plan to have more children

why_I_do_not_want_more_children_mom_blogger

Well hello again and welcome back to my blog. I am sure you are curious about the title and I thought since my little man is now two and people have started questioning me and my husband about possibly having more, (a daughter perhaps) I thought I would address my feelings on the matter.

I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER CHILD!

No, it is not because I dislike being a mother, being a mommy is the best thing that has happened to me and I adore my baby boy so much, but pregnancy was AWFUL for me. Let me explain in a bit more detail so maybe I will stop getting the “when is the next one?” question from now on.

Background

Because I do not come from a big, supportive family like many people I know, when I found out I was pregnant no one was planning a baby shower or any of those fun things for me. I didn’t have many people to celebrate with and it was a little lonely. At the time I just told my husband and a few relatives. My husband, on the other hand, does have a big family who all seemed really excited, so we decided to go to Belgium to have the baby. I was young, pregnant, lonely and in a foreign country where I did not speak the language and it was rough. I’ll add that this is the summer after my brother died and I was also struggling a lot mentally so I had dropped out of college and was quite depressed but that is not even the full story… allow me to go into the pregnancy itself.

First Trimester

My first trimester I had hyperemesis gravidarum, which is basically 24/7 morning sickness. I vomited constantly… It was miserable. I could not smell food cooking without vomiting and even when my stomach was empty (which was 90% of the time) my body would try to vomit which led to dry heaving. The only things I could manage to get down on occasion were apple slices, oatmeal and sometimes soup or crackers. I also drank a great deal of apple juice. I was weak because I could hardly eat and basically lived in bed.

At some point, It got so bad and I got so weak I almost fainted and had to go to the emergency room. I was then given an IV and prescribed medicine to help with the extreme morning sickness. It helped a bit but not enough, I was still sick constantly. I remember trying to walk through the city with my husband so he could show me around and literally having to walk into an alley to throw up. Not fun at all! I lost over 10 pounds during this trimester.

Second Trimester

During this point in my pregnancy, I developed what is called sciatica. This is when pressure is put on the sciatic nerve that leads to radiating pain throughout the body, particularly the lower back and hip area. It was excruciating and I have a high pain tolerance so that’s saying a lot. There were no medications that I could take for this while pregnant so I had to just make myself as comfortable as possible.

Around the same time I developed this problem, we started to have issues with some of Michael’s relatives and were put on the street living from home to home due to the severity of those issues. I was having to walk a lot and sleep on floors at times and the pain got worse. I also developed pelvic girdle pain, this happens when the joints in that area become unstable. It literally felt like my hip was popping out of place when I walked at times. It became painful just to roll over in bed, I would literally cry ( I didn’t even cry during labor) and as the baby grew more and more the pain became worse and so did my mobility.

Third Trimester

So at this point in the pregnancy, my extreme morning sickness had subsided but the sciatica and pelvic girdle were really bad and because my belly had gotten big it became very difficult for me to walk.

Around this time we were still living from house to house and struggling with the family conflicts. We were being threatened and harassed and my stress level was at an all-time high. I started having contractions at around 30 weeks and went into preterm labor a week later. I was taken to the emergency room where I was monitored, given a steroid shot and other medications and put on bedrest. The entire time my husband and I were in the hospital we were still receiving threats from some of his relatives, so while doctors were telling me to relax, I still could not. The hospital staff even locked the door to our wing because they were receiving calls and asked if we wanted to contact the police. I can’t make this stuff up, it was stressful.

I returned to the home we were staying in at the time and had to stay on bedrest for the last six weeks of my pregnancy. I was given medication that was supposed to stop the contractions and prevent preterm labor. I could only get up to use the bathroom or take a shower (I had to sit on a stool in the shower because I couldn’t stand). Because of my lack of exercise, my sciatica and pelvic girdle pain became ten times worse and I now needed help to get around. I could not walk properly. I had to go to my doctors’ visits in a wheelchair at this point. I was honestly worried it would not improve after labor and that I wouldn’t be able to walk normally again.

Labor

I went into labor at 38 weeks, a few weeks before my actual due date. This was actually the easiest part of my pregnancy and for a lot of women, the opposite is true. I was in labor for around 33 hours. I wanted to have a natural birth so I gave birth in a room with a jacuzzi tub, but because I had a high-risk pregnancy I wasn’t able to have a full water birth and had to get out of the tub once it was time to push. Everything went perfectly, the pain was awful but bearable… at least for me. I spent the majority of the time trying to meditate and do deep breathing practices. The intimacy of the room was incredibly nice and my doctor and midwife were great! I loved giving birth in Europe because they do not intervene as much as American doctors.

mom_blogger_birthing_center_labor_pregnancy_story

(Old Instagram Post of the room ^^)

My son and I had skin to skin for the first two hours of his life and he was kept by my side the entire time. The only mishap was that I tore (TMI) during labor and had to have stitches. I honestly did not feel a thing until later. I was up and walking like normal the next day and my sciatica and pelvic girdle were gone. I literally felt like giving birth was a miracle and I was so grateful my pregnancy was over. The recovery went fairly well minus the stitches and my baby boy was perfectly healthy.

mom_blogger_labor_story

(After labor^^)

And so…

I have no doubt that I could get through labor but I am not sure my body can stand another pregnancy. I was told several of the issues I had are sometimes even worse the second time around and that seriously concerns me. For now, I am content with my little man. Adoption is something I have always considered and always wanted to do and something my husband and I will discuss more in the future but for now, I am completely content with just one.

I hope this puts things in perspective for you. If you’re reading this and you are a mom what are your thoughts on having more children? Do you feel pressured to have more? If so comment below and let’s talk about it!

Thanks for reading!

blogsignature

Spring Break for Millennial Parents: Kid-Friendly Vacation in Destin, Florida!

destin1

So as a young college student and mommy spring break is a little different for me than it is for many of my peers. I decided to share my family-friendly spring break trip with you guys!

destin7

My family and I spent our Spring Break in Destin, Florida! It’s absolutely gorgeous with bright white sand beaches and gorgeous blue water. It’s also a good combination of college spring breakers and family so for me it was perfect to experience a little bit of both!

destin2

We spent a lot of time at the beach but we also stayed in a gorgeous resort, Destin West beach and bay in Okaloosa Island between Fort Walton and Destin Florida.

destin14

The resort has two sides, the bay side (pictured above) or the gulf side (a view of the beach). It had a bridge over the overpass that allowed guest to walk from one side to the other. I actually preferred the bay side (it was more affordable) because it has several pools, a hot tub and a lazy river. Many of the college students chose to stay on this side so it was buzzing with people. It’s also pretty easy to get to the bridge and walk across to the gulf side to visit the beach.

destin8

Destin was really easy to get around and had lots of areas for walking and activities that both children and adults could enjoy. We visited Harbourwalk village near the Emerald Grande hotel while we were there. destin13

The village has tons of shops, drinks (for both adults and children), Ice cream (even alcoholic ice-cream because apparently thats a thing), Henna tattoo, water sports rentals, you name it! It’s a really nice space to walk with children because it’s separated away from the main roads but also not too close to the water so my little man was free to roam around. I actually stopped to get dippin dots and a henna tattoo here. Everyone was really friendly and welcoming and there were people from all over! I’d definitely suggest visiting.

destin11

My husband actually ended up renting a kayak for an hour to take our little man out into the bay (the gulf had a strong current but in the summer you can venture out there as well). Our little boy was much too active so they didn’t stay too long for fear of flipping over, but you can also rent boats which may be a better option for those of you with young children. You can even take them out to Crab Island, a cool restaurant in the middle of the bay!

destin6.jpg

If you like sweets you may want to stop by some local grocery stores for fresh fruits (like we did) but one of my favorite places was Destination Little Donuts in Destin. They made all sorts of specialty donuts with various toppings, all very aesthetically pleasing and delicious!

destin5.jpg

We actually stopped by twice because I couldn’t get enough of the Oreo Cheesecake and Cookie Dough (pictured above). They were also really informative and friendly so I’d suggest stopping by if you have a sweet tooth like I do! There were also a lot of great restaurants along the beach. Most of them served seafood, which I actually dislike, but there were a wide variety of options within Destin. We ate at Floyds on our first day and had gorgeous view of the beach while we ate.

destin19

destin18.jpg

destin10.jpg

We also visited Fudpuckers, a really interesting restaurant that serves pretty good seafood but also hosts a number of live alligators. You can purchase bait to feed them and even get a picture with a baby gator (their mouths are taped for the photo). My little man was much too excited so we had to take him away for a minute, he kept pulling the alligators feet (not a good idea). We also got the chance to see a rare albino alligator. Pretty cool!

destin17

Of course much of our vacation was spent on the beach. We just couldn’t get over how stunning they were!

destin15

destin4

destin12

destin9

We even got shot by a photographer for a local newspaper!

familybeachphoto

All in all it was a pretty fun and relaxing spring break and I’d definitely suggest visiting, whether you’re a student, single, or mother of two! We are already planning our next trip back!

meee

blogsignature

Terrible Two

babyboy1.jpg

So my tiny baby isn’t so tiny anymore! Yesterday was his second birthday and It’s so strange to look back and see how much he has grown. It’s like some sort of strange dream.

I never knew my life could change so much in just two years but this little guy has really changed things for the better. It’s really incredible how being a mommy has changed me, I never knew it was possible to care about one person this much.

I couldn’t help but make a quick little sappy post to reflect on what it feels like to watch him grow. It’s hard to express my feelings toward my little man because it’s so much deeper than most even realize. I don’t have many close relatives, I never knew what it felt like to have a close bond with parents or family members. For the most part I’ve always felt alone. So the bond we have is magical to me. I feel like I finally have a “real” family.

birthdaycake1

It’s so sweet to watch him eat his little cake and get messy and have no concept of what is happening. It lights me up to watch him play with gifts and run around with toys excited and full of life. I never want it to change. I hope he stays this happy forever.

This post may seem like a journal entry, and it sort of is. I want to look back next year and see how much more he has grown and just enjoy the fact that I get to continue to watch it happen.

In other news, it seems to be becoming a birthday tradition for him to get sick the next day. Poor baby couldn’t hold a thing down all day, and I spent the day worried, taking care of him. That’s all a part of the job though and I’ll gladly snuggle my little man until he feels better.

Despite all the stresses plaguing me and my little family I’ll continue to take time to reflect on how lucky I am to have this sweet boy.

Will update with more toddler posts soon.

Until next time

blogsignature

Kid friendly places to visit in Dallas | Our mini vacation

img_20161229_144422

So we decided to take a spontaneous one day trip to Dallas, Texas with our little one. I decided it’d be great to share some of the great activities available in the city for those with children.

For those who do not know I have a one year old (going on two) toddler who is VERY active. Traveling can be fun but equally as stressful when you have a little one. Hopefully this list will help you enjoy your time in Dallas if your traveling through with your little one(s).

Fair Park

img_20161229_145303

This stunning gem is a lovely place to let your little one run around and has incredible scenery. It’s located at the Texas state fairgrounds (too bad we didn’t visit during the fair) and it has tons of room to let little ones run around.

IMG_20161229_121427.jpg

What’s great about Fair Park are the museums and exhibits located there. I suggest visiting:

Children’s Aquarium at Fair Park

&

Texas Discovery Gardens and Butterfly House

(click the names to be linked to the websites)

The Children’s Aquarium was amazing! My little one was so excited and loved seeing all the cool sea creatures.

15824573_10210556474281747_1207900881_o

15824376_10210556235875787_667596357_o

The aquarium was great because it was at a low enough eye level that the kids could explore by themselves and though the aquarium wasn’t very big they had a good variety of fish and sea creatures.

They also had an area for children to touch sting rays (don’t worry their tails were clipped down they couldn’t sting if they tried).

It was incredible. I think my husband may have enjoyed that part more than any of us. It was also my first time seeing sharks up close which was interesting.

*visit the website linked above for price info*

I also really enjoyed the Texas Discovery Gardens, we went at noon when they do a very educational and fun butterfly release in the butterfly garden.

editedgiantmoth.jpgbutterflygardenfloweredited

It was a gorgeous garden and I enjoyed how educational it was. It’s always great to find fun ways to learn and teach the little ones. We all left knowing something we didn’t know before we came. It was fun to watch all the beautiful butterflys fly around.

They also had insects and snakes as well. Don’t worry only the butterflys are released.

This museum is only a few steps away from the aquarium and its nice to just be able to walk through the park while visiting other exhibits, gives the little ones a chance to run and because it’s all gravel you don’t have to worry as much about cars. The kids are free to run to their hearts content.

It was also very easy to find bathrooms which is always a bonus.

Dallas Heritage Village

We were able to step back in time for a bit at this cute little village in the city. Also lots of space for the little one to run but also a great learning experience for older kids as well.

There were tons of buildings built back in the 1800’s, several were built by slaves. It’s important for my son to know his roots though he may still be very young it was a nice place to walk through and my husband and I enjoyed it.

img_20161231_101954

The village usually has village people dressed as they would be back in that era, I suggest coming on a nicer (warmer) day and maybe later in the afternoon. We arrived pretty early so there weren’t many village people to give us a tour and it was pretty self-guided. We still enjoyed it anyway.

15785338_10210547421055422_598591196_o.jpg

editedhubsheritage.jpg

IMG_20161230_133608.jpg

Vitruvian Park

If visiting during the holidays this park has some of the most stunning holiday lights I’ve seen. We took an evening stroll here to let the little one get his last bit of energy out before returning to our hotel room. It was stunning and relaxing and we all enjoyed it.

received_10210540697847346

15784667_10210540699407385_201390241_o.jpg

Heard Natural Science Museum

The next on my list was about 20 minutes outside of the city of Dallas but worth the drive. If you have a little one who just LOVES dinosaurs like ours this is the perfect place. It’s filled with fossils, crystals and features exhibits with live wildlife and a LIVE dinosaur exhibit.

Editeddinofamphoto.jpg

My little one was a little anxious around the “live” dinosaurs but it wasn’t too bad. It was actually pretty funny. He kept squinting his eyes and frowning at the dinosaurs as if to try and intimidate them.

editedtrexdino.jpg

It was easy to lose track of time at this place. It’s great because the little one was able to get his energy out and enjoy himself but so were we. We were pretty tuckered out at this point in the trip and by this point you will probably need some food so here is a short list of places we visited to dine.

Dine in

Dream Cafe

Truck Yard

(better to go during the day)

Fast Food

Whataburger

In and Out

We stayed at the Sheraton Hotel and Suites near Downtown Dallas and enjoyed complimentary breakfast there. This is a great way to save a little extra money. The room we had was amazing, the view was great, the breakfast was good and the customer service was exceptional. Would recommend.

15824179_10210546111302679_1583691767_o

All in all it was a great mini-vacation. I hope you get a chance to visit these places if you  ever find yourself passing through Dallas.

    Happy New Years Eve Everyone

blogsignature

 

The Christmas Tag

I love seeing what everyone enjoys around Christmas time so I thought I’d join in and share my Christmas favorites as well.

What is your favorite Christmas movie?

Mine would definitely be How The Grinch Stole Christmas. It just never gets old. I like both the original and the Jim Carrey version.

grinch

What is your favorite Christmas song?

Michael Buble’s “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas” Is definitely my favorite. I mean who doesn’t love Michael Buble’s Christmas album?

michaelbuble

Is your Christmas tree real or fake?

Fake. I live in a tiny apartment and it’s just more convenient. Plus it’s nice to just pack it up in my closet and save it for next year.

What is your favorite holiday food?

Cheesecake. It’s my favorite for every occasion.

What would be your dream place to visit during the holidays?

New York City! I will make that trip one day!

nyc-1556338_640

Have you ever had a white Christmas?

Once that I can remember in 2012, the year I got married which was perfect. I made a 6 foot snowman!

Do you open presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?

I try waiting until Christmas day but I am not very patient so usually I open one or two on Christmas Eve.

What holiday traditions are you looking forward to?

I don’t really have any so I’m working to create my own with my own little family. I haven’t come up with any good ideas yet.

Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?

Short answer is no. I do remember Rudolph and I’m sure there are a few whose names begin with “D” but I can’t remember.

Well guys that’s the end of my Christmas Tag! If you haven’t done this tag already you should (though I am sure there are more questions). Also comment below with some of your Holiday favorites!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

blogsignature

A Time to Celebrate

It’s December 16, 2016 my birthday. My anniversary is tomorrow and finals are over (Praise God). There is just so much to celebrate.

Lately I’ve been so thankful for the few loved ones I have in my life. Growing up I never really felt appreciated so having people shower me with love and kindness always makes my day.

A few days ago my in-laws from abroad (Belgium) surprised my husband and I with gifts. We were sent this…

givenchy2

I love fragrances but could never afford anything THIS nice so I was ecstatic!

givenchy1

Mine came in this elegant packaging and I’m kind of obsessed with the color. The smell is even better, perfect for a fancy dinner which was exactly what came next.

My husband thought he would surprise me with a dinner date. We usually just bum it out at home on the sofa watching Netflix but we finally had the chance to dress nice and have a date. It was so nice to go out alone with my guy, we are usually with our little man and as much as we love being parents, sometimes a nice date is necessary. It’s one thing I would suggest every married couple do even with children. Keep the spark alive.

We went to a European restaurant in Little Rock, AR called The Pantry. Absolutely delicious! I had the chicken pesto flatbread and it was amazing.

birthdaydinner

We also went to see a comedy show sadly not enough people showed up and it ended up being cancelled… the cons of living in a rural state. I still really enjoyed myself.

Today I chose to spend my birthday with my little family. So we took our son to play at this fun little indoor playhouse called The Wonderplace. I’m happy when I see my little man happy.

15555444_10154978945774101_1418650323_o

He had so much fun and I’m a kid at heart so going to this place make me just as excited.

It’s so nice to have an excuse to let my inner child out.

After spending sometime playing in the sand and with plastic toys we decided to end the day with a quick trip to the mall.

I initially wanted cute santa pictures but when we ran to the bathroom we walked in right as Santa was coming out… and it was pretty stinky and awkward.

Needless to say we didn’t get Santa photos.

LOL

No worries though the day still ended well, my husband decided to surprise me again with my absolute favorite!

SWEETS!

15629041_10154978945699101_647423477_o

Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE cheesecake, pumpkin spice and vanilla.

This man totally has me figured out and I am so thankful to have someone that knows how to turn the little things into the big things!

So HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME (and anniversary too even though I’m a day early)

I’m going to have the rest of that cheesecake now!

Until next time..

blogsignature

Why I quit Blogmas & other news

It stinks to have to post this because I was so excited to participate in Blogmas for the first time but sadly if you hadn’t notice I’ve quit posting and here’s why:

Family

For those who hadn’t read my previous post my husband got into a car accident, he is ok but that put a lot of stress on us since we were without a car. 

UPDATE: We did get a new much better one.

School

For those who may not know I am a full-time student and mommy (my son is not in daycare) balancing those aren’t easy. I overestimated just how much work I would be assigned at this point in the semester. I’m currently taking a break from studying for finals to write this.

Bad Planning

I’m a little disappointed at how poorly I planned for Blogmas and this is probably the biggest reason I failed to follow through with it. I hope to really grow in this area within the next year that way I’m able to accomplish these things without pulling my hair out. 

While I didn’t follow through with Blogmas I do plan to continue to post but I don’t want to stress myself out to the point of not actually enjoying it.

IN OTHER  NEWS

I became an online ambassador for The Bloggers Hub an online community based in the UK that connect bloggers. They host Twitter chats three times a week. I’m thankful for this opportunity and the chance to meet other bloggers and learn from them. Hopefully in the future I can grow as a blogger and learn to plan properly.

For those of you reading this thank you.

Until next time!

blogsignature